I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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