And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I have post one night stand depression
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize