i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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