Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
