Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
We had sex on a dog bed..
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
