He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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