When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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