No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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