I just made out with a guy for $7.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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