Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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