We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
