You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
