Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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