I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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