When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I forgot how hot balto sounded
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
the liver wants what the liver wants
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
