Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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