I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
