Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
