sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
