I'm lost and stupid without you.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
