Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize