we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
