I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
