They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
