Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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