At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I licked your asshole in confidence.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
