My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
God I need to hump something, right now.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize