Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize