I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I think your dad took our porno
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
