found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
