Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
