Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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