I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
