So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
