Me too!
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
