hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
