Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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