Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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