My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
