I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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