I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Never underestimate the power of titties
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
