i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
