Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
