He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
