I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
