It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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