Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
