These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Randomize