he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
