I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
