There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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