he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I cut my penus on the lid.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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