so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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