this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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