No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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