but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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