i think my mom watched the whole time
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
