the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
