How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I currently don't understand fingers.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
